The Writer's Worst Enemy

The secret to writing an accurate description is to be as specific and detailed as you possibly can so that you put exactly what is in your mind into your reader’s head. Most writers rely on adjectives and adverbs to flesh out their verbal pictures. The paradox is that useful as these parts of speech are to describe, qualify or emphasize a thought or paint a picture to your reader, their presence in a sentence all too often weakens your line of thought. It is far more effective to use short, direct sentences with specific nouns and forceful verbs to do the job.

One of my favorite writing teachers, Sarah Vogan said. “Just let your words pour out of your mind on to the paper. Then reread what you have done and prune every unnecessary word.”

For example, take this sentence: “He ran swiftly down the path.” Wouldn’t it be stronger and more accurate to say “He shot down the path. (and then perhaps add a simile to make it even clearer: “like a frightened rabbit. “)

Let me show you how the truly great writers accomplished the art of strong, simple sentences instead of purple prose to get their ideas across. This kind of prose is so direct and clear that it speaks to people from any era. Suppose I want to tell you that when you do something you think is very important but you do it in a huge hurry without trying to analyze either your method or the quality of your result, you probably will end up regretting what you did because your speedy execution did not allow yourself time to evaluate which action was necessary and which was excessive. The end result of a hasty act is always imperfect and leads to regret.

That took me 72 words to say, clogged with clumsy phrases, modifying clauses, adjectives and adverbs. Listen to Jane Austin express exactly the same thought back at the beginning of the nineteenth century in 25 well chosen words that speak too us in 2010 just as forcefully as when she wrote them: "The power of doing anything with quickness is always prized much by the possessor, and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance." (Pride and Prejudice)

Now suppose I want to discuss what I think is a frivolous attitude toward the people in our lives and I tell you: Many non-discriminating people actually are willing to devote their lives to criticizing others even when they do not have all the facts necessary to make their judgments fairly. They seem to derive an immensely perverse pleasure out of teasing, ridiculing and making fun of the people they meet without regard for the feelings they injure. That took me 55 poorly selected words when Jane Austin needed but 19 strong ones: "For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?" (Pride and Prejudice)

I have always loved Plato’s writing because it says volumes using spare prose and exactly the right nouns and verbs. He was writing about 400 BC yet his ideas are still strong and meaningful today. If I try to explain to you that every human being no matter what his heritage, his income or his birth has an equal chance in God’s eyes to chase his dream and no matter what we observers think when we evaluate the goals of either the poor man or the rich one, each person’s dream is equally valuable even if mankind does not measure it so. That took 59 words in a sentence so convoluted it would be difficult to get what I mean without reading it twice. Plato used but 32: All men are by nature equal, made all of the same earth by one Workman; and however we deceive ourselves, as dear unto God is the poor peasant as the mighty prince.”

Let me give you another example of a writer whose language is succinct but direct: Anthony Trollope, a man who wrote at the end of the nineteenth century. I could create an endless paragraph that observes that the power of wealth is immense and never-ending because of the many things it can accomplish such as putting a roof over our heads, feeding ourselves and our families, clothing us and giving us a variety of luxuries and comforts that the poor only dream about. Money is necessary for every single thing we need to have in this life and it facilitates those things it cannot buy. (68 words) Listen to Trollope tell you exactly the same thing in 9 words: “What is there that money will not do? “

My favorite example of this writer’s careful prose is his discussion of the difference between idea and reality. I could tell you that we can have an idea of how to do something and form a clear picture in our heads of the methods we need to use to accomplish that act and yet when it comes right down to it and we need to apply these ideas to a real situation, we often find that not only do they not work as effectively as we thought they would but a myriad of unexpected disasters and unanticipated problems horned into our plan making the procedure very difficult and cumbersome and so it was that it took at least twice as long to accomplish the project, if we didn’t give up in the middle because it got so frustrating. Listen to Trollope say the same thing: “Life is so unlike theory”.

I am not saying that the good writer omits adjectives and adverbs from his prose. …not at all. I am saying that the less you use these parts of speech the more effective they will be. When I see an “ly” word, it is a red flag to me. I ask myself: “Can I find one verb that says it better?” When I see a noun flanked by two or three adjectives or a subject with qualifying clauses on either side of it, I think, “Could I get this across more accurately by using two or three short sentences with nouns and active verbs?”

The trick to writing prose people love to read is to edit yourself first. Have your idea clearly stated in your mind and know the path you want to express it. Write the work and as you re-read it, take out every word that pulls you from that path.

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say,
but what we are unable to say. ~Anaïs Nin

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